BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS

It's been a day of mixed emotions today. A day of looking backwards and forwards.

One of my partners retired from the practice today. I've known her for almost 20 years and in that time she has been a role model, a mentor,a friend and a confidante. Losing someone like that from my daily life will take a bit of getting used to but I wish her a long, happy and well-deserved retirement. The mood about the place has been a bit subdued today. I'm now the senior female partner here..... a scary and rather sobering thought.

On the positive side, it is New Year's eve, the traditional time for setting those resolutions for next year.

Ask yourself - what do you want to create in your life that isn't there already?
How are you going to go about doing it? Make your goals really mean something and write them down. Try to focus on the process goals rather than just the end point.
For example - if your goal is to lose two stone in the next 4 months, think about how you are going to do it and make each of those hows a goal in itself. Each day, keep a track of how you did, for example - eating breakfast, not eating a biscuit midmorning, snacking only on fruit, watching your portion size etc. Keep a track of each of these process goals in a success journal. It really makes a difference.

As a coach, i don't believe we have to wait for New Year to make the changes we want to make, but now it's here let's grab it by the scruff of the neck and make the most of it!

Here's to wonderful 2010 to all my readers.
May you have a peaceful, happy, healthy and fulfilling New Year.
Make it your best one yet!

GARETH THOMAS COMES OUT

This weekend saw the announcement by Gareth Thomas, Welsh rugby's most capped player and former captain of the British Lions, that he is gay. He is the highest profile British sportsman to openly discuss his homosexuality and in the 21st century, the question I most want to ask is.... why? There are plenty of gay sportsmen and women out there. When I played club level football and briefly rugby too, there were plenty of lesbians in the team...... but so what? None of us cared, they were just team mates.

It seems amazing to me that it matters to anyone else what his sexuality is. He's a great sportsman, a fantastic example of a truly dedicated, professional player. This holds whether he is gay or straight. It seems incredibly sad that society has forced him to keep his real self under wraps until now. His interview in yesterday's Sunday Times talks about his despair and suicidal ideas. What kind of world are we living in? We like to think of ourselves as an advanced society and yet people like Gareth feel the need to live a lie for fear of suffering prejudice, disadvantage or worse; blind, ignorant hatred.

Homosexuality remains illegal in many states of the USA, another fact that I find staggering. As we reach the end of the decade we tend to look back over past events. How long before we look back over outdated attitudes such as homophobia with the disbelief and disgust that they deserve?

For what it's worth, I say, good on you Gareth, you're a brave man. May your example ease the pain and suffering of others in a similar position and may one day may openess like yours be the norm rather than the exception.

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

This weekend will see millions of us tune in to see the final of X Factor.
Whatever you think of the show, and it certainly polarises opinion, I think that there is a lot that we can learn from it.

Those that do best seem to be really driven. They've had their goal for a very long time, have strived to achieve it and have often made a lot of sacrifices along the way. They've also had to take a lot of criticism. The most successful have learned that "There is no failure, only feedback". They take the judges comments on board, learn from them and use them to their advantage.

Now for sure there's an enormous amount of media hype about the whole thing, much of it entirely unjustified, but if it encourages just one person to believe in themselves and chase their dream, then to me it is worth it. If kids look at people on TV and think "if they can do it, then so can I" - then great. I'd prefer it if they wanted to achieve something more then just being famous, but seeing other people be confident is part of how we learn to be confident too.

Nathaniel Branden, the famous psychologist once said "Self concept is destiny".
I love that quote and really try and apply it in my daily life. How you feel about yourself really does affect how other people see and treat you. If you're looking for an example of a confident, successful man, look no further than X Factor's own, Simon Cowell.