WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT - HAPPINESS

As regular readers of this blog will know, I'm all for making life easier. Why struggle if there is a simpler, more efficient way to do something that will give you the same result? I think that's why I love this quote I received today from Robert Holden - one of my very favourite coaches and a hugely inspirational man.

"To be even happier you could learn 100 techniques, meditations and mental tricks, or you could just decide to be a more loving person."


I think that's wonderful and it really sums up what life's all about. I also think it explains why I have made the move away from teaching NLP to concentrate on personal success coaching. I get this now, it works for me and I want to get the message across to others too. I think that's why focusing on the techniques of NLP, as if happiness and success depended on them, was making me feel somehow inauthentic. That's not to say the techniques of NLP aren't wonderful - they are and they have their place, but that place isn't right here for me right now.

The bottom line of happiness really is all about deciding to be happy. Once you've made that decision, everything flows on from there. Once you have decided to be happy you will find it easy to appreciate all the great things around you. In that appreciative frame of mind you're more likely to see the opportunities life presents you and feel more able to act on them. It all starts with that one simple decision.

Decide to be happy right now and watch your life expand from there!

DOG GONE HAPPY!

I'm currently reading "Happiness Now!" by Robert Holden. It's an excellent book which you won't be surprised to hear from the title is all about being happy. The central message of the book so far is that happiness is something within us, not something that we can ever find externally. Being happy therefore involves realising this and just allowing the happiness that is within us to shine through.

With this in mind I took my dog Sox out for a walk yesterday lunchtime. I left home feeling really happy and was determined to stay that way. We had a lovely walk and after an hour or so, instead of heading back home I decided we'd head in the opposite direction and get a coffee at one of the canalside cafes.

I tied her up outside the cafe and went inside to order. Little did I realise that my resolution to be happy was about to be tested. Having ordered a cappuccino, the woman took my money and handed me the change without making any move to make my drink. When I didn't walk away she said - you've already had it haven't you, aren't you just paying? I told her very politely that no, I'd just got here and hadn't had a drink yet. She eyed me slightly suspiciously, even more so when I pointed out that she'd given me change form a fiver when I'd just paid with a ten pound note. I went back outside to sit at one of the tables alongside the towpath with Sox, to wait for my drink and enjoy the peace and quiet. It was a nice day, if a bit overcast and all I could hear was the gentle sound of a barge moving along the water  a few yards away. Less than a minute later, an elderly couple walked towards the cafe from my right. The old lady was full of complaints - telling her husband very grouchily that she was too cold, too tired and that he was holding her arm too tightly and walking too fast. She then turned her attention to us as we sat quietly minding our own business and muttered loudly "what a stupid place to bring a dog."

Now Sox is pretty smart and I'm sure she knew she was being talked about. She looked up at me then turned and growled at the woman (really out of character for her). The woman responded by calling her a "spiteful little bugger" and shuffling off into the cafe. Now once upon a time I'd have reacted to that, either by politely challenging the woman or more probably by keeping quiet but feeling irritated inside. Instead today, with that central core of happiness firmly in place, it just made me want to laugh. Sox picked up on this too as she turned and looked up at me and I swear she grinned. If she were able to I think she might even have high-fived me! As you can see from the picture above, she's a pretty special dog. Hope that story made you smile too. Enjoy the Bank Holiday.

FOLLOW YOUR JOY

Well Saturday's workshop in London proved to have been well worth all the anticipation - it was absolutely wonderful. It was held in Porchester Hall in Paddington and was attended by around 350 people. I had met some of them before and as ever at this sort of event got chatting to a lot of very interesting new people. The atmosphere was warm and friendly and everyone seemed open to sharing and to exploring new ideas.

It was co-hosted by Michael Neill and Robert Holden. I knew that Michael Neill would be fantastic - he always is. I've read all but one of his books and his audio programmes have provided the backdrop to many walks with my dog Sox. Robert Holden on the other hand was relatively new to me - and he was a revelation. Rarely have I been introduced to someone's new material that has made so much sense and struck such a chord with me. He came across as such a straightforward, genuine bloke too with an absolute passion for the work that he is doing. Not only that but he loved sharing it and talking about it.

He shared so many fascinating ideas. One that I particularly liked was the distinction between being what he called HIP and DIP. HIP stands for healthily independent person whilst DIP stands for dysfunctionally independent person. Whilst in many ways it is great to be independent, allowing yourself to ask for and accept help from others is something that we all need to learn how to do and some of us find difficult. Many people are very good at giving help to others but find it hard to take. He spoke about seeing it not as taking but as receiving. I love this distinction and know I will incorporate it into my coaching as well as my own life. There were so many gems like this.

We explored many things during the workshop including the different answers that we received when we asked the same question of our head, heart and gut. Intuitively we know what to do in most situations but often we get in our own way and try too hard to think through the solution. Sometimes we just need to be with ourselves peacefully for a while and allow our inner wisdom to guide us.

Robert was kind enough to chat to me afterwards for a while. His background is in psychology and he has done a lot of work with the NHS around his Happiness Project. I was genuinely touched when he said that he thanked me from the heart for the work I was doing coaching fellow doctors. I told him I loved doing it and that I had found the day inspirational. He signed my copy of his book Success Intelligence with the inscription "Follow your joy".

Thank you Robert ; from my heart, I fully intend to.

ANTICIPATION AND INSPIRATION!

So it's Friday again already and the week seems to have gone really quickly. I'm sat, as I usually am on a Friday morning, in the lounge of my health club, sippping a latte and tapping this out on my laptop. I don't need to get to the surgery quite so early on Fridays so I stop off here on the way in. It means I can take advantage of the free wi-fi here as the ancient browser at the surgery doesn't support the Blogger site.

I'm off up to London tomorrow to a workshop run by one of my very favourite coaches - Michael Neill. those of you who follow this blog will doubtless have heard mention of him before. He is excellent and his coaching approach has really inspired and influenced the way that I coach my own clients. He's a lovely guy too, I met him back in 2009 when I attended a course he was running.

Tomorrow's workshop is co-hosted by Robert Holden, whom I haven't met or heard speak before but I've just started reading one of his books. More of that in a later blog.

Knowing that I was going to this workshop tomorrow has been great as it's given me something to look forward to all week. I'm all for that, I like to set up a constant series of things like that, that I'm really looking forward to. They can be very small things but anticipating them, just knowing that I've got them to look forward to, really adds to my week. In this way I get to enjoy them all not once but three times:
   Once - when I'm looking forward to them - really visualising how it's going to be.
   Second time - when I'm there, really enjoying it in the present.
   Thirdly, afterwards; looking back, reflecting on what I most enjoyed, what I learned,who I met etc.

I'm still in touch with three of the people I met on the 2009 course and continue to be inspired by their work too. Coaching has taught me many things and one of the most important has been to be open to new experiences. Doctors in general tend to hold quite fixed views about certain areas and perhaps aren't quite as willing and open as some groups of people to listen to new concepts, new ways of thinking. Maybe it's the scientific background, I don't know, but with this in mind I'll be telling you next week all about the book I'm currently just finishing as it certain fits into the category of challenging conventional views of life!

So have a great weekend. Enjoy all that you have and keep your eye out for inspiration - it's all around you once you start to look.