A powerful statement......
In my last blog I spoke of the need to ensure that your own happiness is not in the hands of others. Too often I see people who are allowing their present to be ruined by what happened in their past. The replaying of these past memories can be so destructive. You really do have a choice in this...... to draw a line in the sand, right now..... and move forward.
Richard Bandler, co-founder of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), uses the phrase, "You can't change the past, so why live in it?" For me, this encapsulates the idea of concentrating on the here and now, on what we do have the power to influence - ourselves.
Remember this - all change begins with you.
I believe if we all take responsibility for ourselves and be the best that we can be, the world will be a much better place. Modern culture seems to encourage just the opposite - it looks for someone to blame for the problems of the world. I believe we should just work on what we are able to change - ourselves - and put our trust in a higher power to look after the rest. Call this God, Divinity, The Universe - fill in the blank for yourself. It's not a religious thing as such, just an acknowledgement that there is something out there more powerful and more knowing than we will ever be.
There is a great prayer in Wayne Dyer's book "The Power of Intention", it goes like this:
Good Morning,
This is God,
I will be handling all your
Problems today.
I will not need
Your help so have
A miraculous day.
I think that says it all....... enjoy your day.
Friday, 8 August 2008
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
THE SPACE INSIDE YOUR HEAD
It's funny how some things you read stick in your mind isn't it?
As a teenager in the late 70's I read George Orwell's 1984. I always remember the first few pages in which the lives of the two central characters are described as being under constant surveillance from all angles.
The only little bit of freedom they had under the oppressive regime were the few square centimetres inside their own heads. Inside there, their thoughts were their own. They could retreat there, untouched and safe from observation.
The world around us can sometimes seem not too dissimilar to this. On my way home tonight, the news told of a pensioner found dead in his home, having been there for over two years - nobody thought to check on him. There was also the story of the woman pushed onto railway tracks for asking two lads to stop smoking. She broke her collar bone.
My friend is on holiday at the moment in this country and sent me a text to say the weather was cold - like midwinter. This reminded me of the Orwell passage, so I sent back a message to say, that it can always be summer in your head! My friends are used to my eternal optimism.....
My point is this though - how we feel is up to us. It doesn't depend on the weather or on the madness happening around us. How you feel depends upon how you decide to feel. Don't let anyone else control your happiness. Let today be the day that you decide to feel how you really want to feel.
Use those few centimetres inside your own head, right now, to create your own reality. Take control and start living the way you've always wanted to.
As a teenager in the late 70's I read George Orwell's 1984. I always remember the first few pages in which the lives of the two central characters are described as being under constant surveillance from all angles.
The only little bit of freedom they had under the oppressive regime were the few square centimetres inside their own heads. Inside there, their thoughts were their own. They could retreat there, untouched and safe from observation.
The world around us can sometimes seem not too dissimilar to this. On my way home tonight, the news told of a pensioner found dead in his home, having been there for over two years - nobody thought to check on him. There was also the story of the woman pushed onto railway tracks for asking two lads to stop smoking. She broke her collar bone.
My friend is on holiday at the moment in this country and sent me a text to say the weather was cold - like midwinter. This reminded me of the Orwell passage, so I sent back a message to say, that it can always be summer in your head! My friends are used to my eternal optimism.....
My point is this though - how we feel is up to us. It doesn't depend on the weather or on the madness happening around us. How you feel depends upon how you decide to feel. Don't let anyone else control your happiness. Let today be the day that you decide to feel how you really want to feel.
Use those few centimetres inside your own head, right now, to create your own reality. Take control and start living the way you've always wanted to.
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
TACKLE THOSE TASKS
Do you ever have days when you have a long list of tasks stretching out in front of you....... and you don't really want to do any of them? Of course you do......
I had a day like that yesterday at work. I had a whole string of things I had to do, none of them could be delegated. They were all going to take time, my time, and at first glance it was hard to see how they were all going to fit into the day. Sounding familiar?
How do you respond when faced with that situation? The least productive way would be to look at the list as a whole and let it stress you out. Getting stressed is about allowing external pressures to dictate to you, rather than taking control of the situation for yourself.
Prioritise what you need to do and do what absolutely can't wait first. Done, over with. How does that feel? Starting to make some headway into that list now? Look at what's left. Do some of the easier tasks to get them done but be sure to do some of your least favourite ones too - these are the ones that will really please you to have got done and over with.
As you complete the remaining tasks, notice how much better you start to feel. Bask in the accomplishment of achieving more than you thought you would. Find some small way of rewarding yourself for hanging in there and getting it done. Go on..... you know you deserve it!
Now you can look back and think - yes, I did all of that. Next time you're in the same situation you'll know that you are capable of doing it again..... and more. Try and make even your most routine of tasks enjoyable by finding some way to challenge yourself as you complete them. Focusing your mind like this really will make the time pass quicker and make the whole thing seem easier and more enjoyable.
I had a day like that yesterday at work. I had a whole string of things I had to do, none of them could be delegated. They were all going to take time, my time, and at first glance it was hard to see how they were all going to fit into the day. Sounding familiar?
How do you respond when faced with that situation? The least productive way would be to look at the list as a whole and let it stress you out. Getting stressed is about allowing external pressures to dictate to you, rather than taking control of the situation for yourself.
Prioritise what you need to do and do what absolutely can't wait first. Done, over with. How does that feel? Starting to make some headway into that list now? Look at what's left. Do some of the easier tasks to get them done but be sure to do some of your least favourite ones too - these are the ones that will really please you to have got done and over with.
As you complete the remaining tasks, notice how much better you start to feel. Bask in the accomplishment of achieving more than you thought you would. Find some small way of rewarding yourself for hanging in there and getting it done. Go on..... you know you deserve it!
Now you can look back and think - yes, I did all of that. Next time you're in the same situation you'll know that you are capable of doing it again..... and more. Try and make even your most routine of tasks enjoyable by finding some way to challenge yourself as you complete them. Focusing your mind like this really will make the time pass quicker and make the whole thing seem easier and more enjoyable.
Sunday, 3 August 2008
BEHIND THE CLOUDS, THE SUN IS ALWAYS SHINING
A sad start to today. I dropped my father at the airport for his flight back to Thailand. He had been staying with us for a month and after some great times, the day finally came for him to return home.
He has been a huge influence on me, a real hero in my life and one of the most resilient people I've ever met. Lucky really - you need to be tough to survive a month in my house!
As I drove home in the pouring rain, I reflected on all the fun we'd had, the places we'd been, the people we'd visited and entertained. I began to think about all the great things coming up in the next few weeks. Even if you're not a sports nut like me, you can't fail to find something to love about the Olympics. Not only is it the showcase for phenomenal physical achievement, but it represents so much more. The coming together of people from all over the globe in the spirit of peace and harmony is a real cause for celebration. It really reminds me that we are part of one world.
And then there's the new football season about to start......fans all over the country will dream of bigger and better things for their teams this year. Yes even Watford fans like me!
As I pondered on this, the sun came on and my mood brightened. Like my state of happinness and eager anticipation for the future, the sun had been there all the time - just temporarily hidden behind the clouds.
So remember, in times of sadness, focus on what's great in your life. Think of all the things you've got to look forward to. Feel the love of those around you and share it around. Bring a little sunshine into your life today.
He has been a huge influence on me, a real hero in my life and one of the most resilient people I've ever met. Lucky really - you need to be tough to survive a month in my house!
As I drove home in the pouring rain, I reflected on all the fun we'd had, the places we'd been, the people we'd visited and entertained. I began to think about all the great things coming up in the next few weeks. Even if you're not a sports nut like me, you can't fail to find something to love about the Olympics. Not only is it the showcase for phenomenal physical achievement, but it represents so much more. The coming together of people from all over the globe in the spirit of peace and harmony is a real cause for celebration. It really reminds me that we are part of one world.
And then there's the new football season about to start......fans all over the country will dream of bigger and better things for their teams this year. Yes even Watford fans like me!
As I pondered on this, the sun came on and my mood brightened. Like my state of happinness and eager anticipation for the future, the sun had been there all the time - just temporarily hidden behind the clouds.
So remember, in times of sadness, focus on what's great in your life. Think of all the things you've got to look forward to. Feel the love of those around you and share it around. Bring a little sunshine into your life today.
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
PEACE AND CONNECTION
What does being peaceful mean to you?
During our recent trip to Provence, we stayed in a wonderful villa in the hillside. There was a beautiful infinity pool there and when you were in it you could see for miles, down over the surrounding countryside. I made of point of being first up every morning, while a little mist still hung over the olive trees to swim my lengths. Much as I love exercising, I'm not really a swimmer, but the feeling of being there, all alone, in that setting, was amazing. So utterly cut off from everything in my usual daily life.
At night, the stars were wonderful and incredibly numerous. We were quite remote so there was little in the way of light pollution, giving us a real sense of the enormity of the universe.
It made me think of the paradox of feeling so peaceful whilst being alone and yet needing the feeling of connection and being part of the "one song" of the universe we talked about in my last post. Wayne Dyer makes a similar point in his book - suggesting that the difference between ALONE and ALL ONE is L, standing for love.
Love is what connects us all together. As you look out on the stars where you are tonight, may love and peace be with you too.
Monday, 28 July 2008
FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES
How often do we give ourselves the space and time to celebrate what has gone well for us?
Too often these days, we seem to focus on the problems around us.
What's gone wrong here? Who's fault is this? What's missing?
How often do you hear someone say, "I had a great day today because I managed to do X, Y or Z?" Why wait for others, why not be that person!
I went back to work today after a fortnight off and far from dreading it, I had a great day. I planned ahead, went to the gym before work, still getting in early enough to catch up on all the paperwork from whilst I was off.
Not only that but I enjoyed it, because I expected to enjoy it.
How much easier does something feel when you go into it with the right attitude, when you just know it's going to go well? Somehow, on days like that, things just seem to flow.
You get more of what you focus on, so if you think you're going to get problems - guess what?
For sure there'll be days when things don't quite work out, but why not relax, go with the flow and focus on the positives...... and you'll feel better whilst you're at it!
Too often these days, we seem to focus on the problems around us.
What's gone wrong here? Who's fault is this? What's missing?
How often do you hear someone say, "I had a great day today because I managed to do X, Y or Z?" Why wait for others, why not be that person!
I went back to work today after a fortnight off and far from dreading it, I had a great day. I planned ahead, went to the gym before work, still getting in early enough to catch up on all the paperwork from whilst I was off.
Not only that but I enjoyed it, because I expected to enjoy it.
How much easier does something feel when you go into it with the right attitude, when you just know it's going to go well? Somehow, on days like that, things just seem to flow.
You get more of what you focus on, so if you think you're going to get problems - guess what?
For sure there'll be days when things don't quite work out, but why not relax, go with the flow and focus on the positives...... and you'll feel better whilst you're at it!
Sunday, 27 July 2008
LOSE THOSE LABELS
I have just returned from a fabulous week in Provence. Really relaxing, no emails, no phone calls - wonderful.
My laptop came with me, but purely for the purpose of letting the boys watch DVDs on the Eurostar. In that beautiful, sunny, cut-off world, I took the chance to catch up on some reading.
One of the books I read was "You'll See it When You Believe it!" by Dr.Wayne Dyer. It's an excellent book, full of fascinating and thought provoking statements which make you challenge your own behaviour. Recently I've taken to jotting down interesting sentences and concepts as I read and believe me, this book really kept me scribbling.
One of the concepts I enjoyed was that of labels.
What labels do you apply to yourself ?
I guess mine would include - female, white, British, heterosexual, doctor, life coach, mother, football fan, socialist, forty-something..... How about you?
But labels can be so divisive. We are all so much more than any labels can ever convey and more importantly, labelling ourselves as one thing sets us apart from others who have a different one. Lables make us look for the differences between us, rather than looking for the sameness. As Dyer puts it, the Universe = "one song" and we are all parts of one whole.
So next time you think about giving yourself, or someone else, a label - think again.
Think not about how they differ from you but instead look for what connects you both to the greater whole.
My laptop came with me, but purely for the purpose of letting the boys watch DVDs on the Eurostar. In that beautiful, sunny, cut-off world, I took the chance to catch up on some reading.
One of the books I read was "You'll See it When You Believe it!" by Dr.Wayne Dyer. It's an excellent book, full of fascinating and thought provoking statements which make you challenge your own behaviour. Recently I've taken to jotting down interesting sentences and concepts as I read and believe me, this book really kept me scribbling.
One of the concepts I enjoyed was that of labels.
What labels do you apply to yourself ?
I guess mine would include - female, white, British, heterosexual, doctor, life coach, mother, football fan, socialist, forty-something..... How about you?
But labels can be so divisive. We are all so much more than any labels can ever convey and more importantly, labelling ourselves as one thing sets us apart from others who have a different one. Lables make us look for the differences between us, rather than looking for the sameness. As Dyer puts it, the Universe = "one song" and we are all parts of one whole.
So next time you think about giving yourself, or someone else, a label - think again.
Think not about how they differ from you but instead look for what connects you both to the greater whole.
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