Which parts of your body can you feel an ache or pain in right now?......
How did that question make you feel? I bet it made you stop, focus on your body and notice niggly little things that you'd barely noticed before. Am I right?
Contrast that to - What is the most peaceful time you can remember?
I bet that gave you a completely different feeling didn't it.?
Answering the question forces you to relive the experience. In the first example, not only did you have to actively seek out the aches and pains but you felt them too. In the second one, just by thinking about that beautiful, peaceful time..... you were back there. Your breathing slowed and got deeper, your blood pressure fell slightly and the pressures of your day seemed to ease away somehow.
What was the difference? You didn't change. You were still sat there in front of your screen. You just asked yourself a better question.
If you ask yourself a better question - you get a better answer.
Anthony Robbins loves this technique. He advocates choosing five great questions to ask yourself first thing in the morning. Answering these makes you relive the good feelings associated with them and gets you into a great state of mind for the day ahead. Try it...... whay have you got to lose?
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
Monday, 11 August 2008
WHY WAIT?
After almost 20 years as a doctor, I'm still amazed by how differently people react to illness. In a typical week I see lots of peole with minor illnesses - coughs, colds, sore throats. Most people see the few days that they are sick as a minor inconvenience and just get on with their life, whilst for others, the illness seems to become their life. They spend their time ruminating on how poorly they feel, tell everyone about it and seem to enjoy comparing their symptoms with those around them.
Contrast this with my terminally ill patients, or the housebound elderly who are forced to depend on others for help in a way they never imagined. Many of these are incredibly positive in their outlook. When I talk to them about this, they'll often say something like - "now I know I haven't got that long left, I really try and make the most of what I do have." They are able to find pleasure in small things - a sunny morning, beautiful flowers, a warm smile. Often their situation helps them focus in and appreciate what they have right now. They are a pleasure to spend time with and I always learn a lot from them.
Hopefully as you read this, you're in good health...... so why wait to start appreciating what's around you? I believe that when you feel good, you start to look out for other good things around you. In other words - you get more of what you feel.
One way to kick start this is to ask yourself better questions - more of this tomorrow.
Contrast this with my terminally ill patients, or the housebound elderly who are forced to depend on others for help in a way they never imagined. Many of these are incredibly positive in their outlook. When I talk to them about this, they'll often say something like - "now I know I haven't got that long left, I really try and make the most of what I do have." They are able to find pleasure in small things - a sunny morning, beautiful flowers, a warm smile. Often their situation helps them focus in and appreciate what they have right now. They are a pleasure to spend time with and I always learn a lot from them.
Hopefully as you read this, you're in good health...... so why wait to start appreciating what's around you? I believe that when you feel good, you start to look out for other good things around you. In other words - you get more of what you feel.
One way to kick start this is to ask yourself better questions - more of this tomorrow.
Sunday, 10 August 2008
APPRECIATE WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE
"You prove to me that there is a God and I'll come to mass!" announced my son this morning as we were getting ready. It was an attempt to be allowed to stay at home and watch the Olympics. As regular readers will know, I love sport and I adore the Olympics, but he wasn't going to get round me that easily....
"OK then", I said, "can you prove to me that there isn't a God? Who do you think is responsible for all the wonderful things in your life?" His initial blank look (think of Harry Enfield's Kevin character) was soon replaced by a more thoughtful one. I asked him how he thought he got his good health, ("yeah"), his food, ("whatever"), his home,("money"), his family, (no reply), his friends, (struggling now),his education, his opportunities? For once he said nothing.
I told him that it doesn't have to be about God in a formal sense. It's about the acknowledgement of the presence of a higher power - does it matter what you call it? I see attendance at a place of worship as a time of quiet reflection and a chance to say thank you for all that is great in your life. We have so many blessings. He got dressed without another word.
Just stop reading this for a second and think on this.....
I bet that wherever you are, you are warm enough and that you've eaten and drunk pretty recently. You are probably well clothed and the fact that you are reading this at all is testimony to that fact that you have internet access and the education to make that reading possible. That immediately puts you far ahead of a huge proportion of our world.
It's easy to forget as we dash about our busy lives, that we have so much to be gratfeul for. I think Socrates had it right when he said,
"He who is not contented with what he has, will not be contented with what he would like to have."
By all means aim for something better, but never forget to appreciate all that is already yours.
"OK then", I said, "can you prove to me that there isn't a God? Who do you think is responsible for all the wonderful things in your life?" His initial blank look (think of Harry Enfield's Kevin character) was soon replaced by a more thoughtful one. I asked him how he thought he got his good health, ("yeah"), his food, ("whatever"), his home,("money"), his family, (no reply), his friends, (struggling now),his education, his opportunities? For once he said nothing.
I told him that it doesn't have to be about God in a formal sense. It's about the acknowledgement of the presence of a higher power - does it matter what you call it? I see attendance at a place of worship as a time of quiet reflection and a chance to say thank you for all that is great in your life. We have so many blessings. He got dressed without another word.
Just stop reading this for a second and think on this.....
I bet that wherever you are, you are warm enough and that you've eaten and drunk pretty recently. You are probably well clothed and the fact that you are reading this at all is testimony to that fact that you have internet access and the education to make that reading possible. That immediately puts you far ahead of a huge proportion of our world.
It's easy to forget as we dash about our busy lives, that we have so much to be gratfeul for. I think Socrates had it right when he said,
"He who is not contented with what he has, will not be contented with what he would like to have."
By all means aim for something better, but never forget to appreciate all that is already yours.
Friday, 8 August 2008
PEACE AND FREEDOM BEGIN WITH YOU
A powerful statement......
In my last blog I spoke of the need to ensure that your own happiness is not in the hands of others. Too often I see people who are allowing their present to be ruined by what happened in their past. The replaying of these past memories can be so destructive. You really do have a choice in this...... to draw a line in the sand, right now..... and move forward.
Richard Bandler, co-founder of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), uses the phrase, "You can't change the past, so why live in it?" For me, this encapsulates the idea of concentrating on the here and now, on what we do have the power to influence - ourselves.
Remember this - all change begins with you.
I believe if we all take responsibility for ourselves and be the best that we can be, the world will be a much better place. Modern culture seems to encourage just the opposite - it looks for someone to blame for the problems of the world. I believe we should just work on what we are able to change - ourselves - and put our trust in a higher power to look after the rest. Call this God, Divinity, The Universe - fill in the blank for yourself. It's not a religious thing as such, just an acknowledgement that there is something out there more powerful and more knowing than we will ever be.
There is a great prayer in Wayne Dyer's book "The Power of Intention", it goes like this:
Good Morning,
This is God,
I will be handling all your
Problems today.
I will not need
Your help so have
A miraculous day.
I think that says it all....... enjoy your day.
In my last blog I spoke of the need to ensure that your own happiness is not in the hands of others. Too often I see people who are allowing their present to be ruined by what happened in their past. The replaying of these past memories can be so destructive. You really do have a choice in this...... to draw a line in the sand, right now..... and move forward.
Richard Bandler, co-founder of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), uses the phrase, "You can't change the past, so why live in it?" For me, this encapsulates the idea of concentrating on the here and now, on what we do have the power to influence - ourselves.
Remember this - all change begins with you.
I believe if we all take responsibility for ourselves and be the best that we can be, the world will be a much better place. Modern culture seems to encourage just the opposite - it looks for someone to blame for the problems of the world. I believe we should just work on what we are able to change - ourselves - and put our trust in a higher power to look after the rest. Call this God, Divinity, The Universe - fill in the blank for yourself. It's not a religious thing as such, just an acknowledgement that there is something out there more powerful and more knowing than we will ever be.
There is a great prayer in Wayne Dyer's book "The Power of Intention", it goes like this:
Good Morning,
This is God,
I will be handling all your
Problems today.
I will not need
Your help so have
A miraculous day.
I think that says it all....... enjoy your day.
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
THE SPACE INSIDE YOUR HEAD
It's funny how some things you read stick in your mind isn't it?
As a teenager in the late 70's I read George Orwell's 1984. I always remember the first few pages in which the lives of the two central characters are described as being under constant surveillance from all angles.
The only little bit of freedom they had under the oppressive regime were the few square centimetres inside their own heads. Inside there, their thoughts were their own. They could retreat there, untouched and safe from observation.
The world around us can sometimes seem not too dissimilar to this. On my way home tonight, the news told of a pensioner found dead in his home, having been there for over two years - nobody thought to check on him. There was also the story of the woman pushed onto railway tracks for asking two lads to stop smoking. She broke her collar bone.
My friend is on holiday at the moment in this country and sent me a text to say the weather was cold - like midwinter. This reminded me of the Orwell passage, so I sent back a message to say, that it can always be summer in your head! My friends are used to my eternal optimism.....
My point is this though - how we feel is up to us. It doesn't depend on the weather or on the madness happening around us. How you feel depends upon how you decide to feel. Don't let anyone else control your happiness. Let today be the day that you decide to feel how you really want to feel.
Use those few centimetres inside your own head, right now, to create your own reality. Take control and start living the way you've always wanted to.
As a teenager in the late 70's I read George Orwell's 1984. I always remember the first few pages in which the lives of the two central characters are described as being under constant surveillance from all angles.
The only little bit of freedom they had under the oppressive regime were the few square centimetres inside their own heads. Inside there, their thoughts were their own. They could retreat there, untouched and safe from observation.
The world around us can sometimes seem not too dissimilar to this. On my way home tonight, the news told of a pensioner found dead in his home, having been there for over two years - nobody thought to check on him. There was also the story of the woman pushed onto railway tracks for asking two lads to stop smoking. She broke her collar bone.
My friend is on holiday at the moment in this country and sent me a text to say the weather was cold - like midwinter. This reminded me of the Orwell passage, so I sent back a message to say, that it can always be summer in your head! My friends are used to my eternal optimism.....
My point is this though - how we feel is up to us. It doesn't depend on the weather or on the madness happening around us. How you feel depends upon how you decide to feel. Don't let anyone else control your happiness. Let today be the day that you decide to feel how you really want to feel.
Use those few centimetres inside your own head, right now, to create your own reality. Take control and start living the way you've always wanted to.
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
TACKLE THOSE TASKS
Do you ever have days when you have a long list of tasks stretching out in front of you....... and you don't really want to do any of them? Of course you do......
I had a day like that yesterday at work. I had a whole string of things I had to do, none of them could be delegated. They were all going to take time, my time, and at first glance it was hard to see how they were all going to fit into the day. Sounding familiar?
How do you respond when faced with that situation? The least productive way would be to look at the list as a whole and let it stress you out. Getting stressed is about allowing external pressures to dictate to you, rather than taking control of the situation for yourself.
Prioritise what you need to do and do what absolutely can't wait first. Done, over with. How does that feel? Starting to make some headway into that list now? Look at what's left. Do some of the easier tasks to get them done but be sure to do some of your least favourite ones too - these are the ones that will really please you to have got done and over with.
As you complete the remaining tasks, notice how much better you start to feel. Bask in the accomplishment of achieving more than you thought you would. Find some small way of rewarding yourself for hanging in there and getting it done. Go on..... you know you deserve it!
Now you can look back and think - yes, I did all of that. Next time you're in the same situation you'll know that you are capable of doing it again..... and more. Try and make even your most routine of tasks enjoyable by finding some way to challenge yourself as you complete them. Focusing your mind like this really will make the time pass quicker and make the whole thing seem easier and more enjoyable.
I had a day like that yesterday at work. I had a whole string of things I had to do, none of them could be delegated. They were all going to take time, my time, and at first glance it was hard to see how they were all going to fit into the day. Sounding familiar?
How do you respond when faced with that situation? The least productive way would be to look at the list as a whole and let it stress you out. Getting stressed is about allowing external pressures to dictate to you, rather than taking control of the situation for yourself.
Prioritise what you need to do and do what absolutely can't wait first. Done, over with. How does that feel? Starting to make some headway into that list now? Look at what's left. Do some of the easier tasks to get them done but be sure to do some of your least favourite ones too - these are the ones that will really please you to have got done and over with.
As you complete the remaining tasks, notice how much better you start to feel. Bask in the accomplishment of achieving more than you thought you would. Find some small way of rewarding yourself for hanging in there and getting it done. Go on..... you know you deserve it!
Now you can look back and think - yes, I did all of that. Next time you're in the same situation you'll know that you are capable of doing it again..... and more. Try and make even your most routine of tasks enjoyable by finding some way to challenge yourself as you complete them. Focusing your mind like this really will make the time pass quicker and make the whole thing seem easier and more enjoyable.
Sunday, 3 August 2008
BEHIND THE CLOUDS, THE SUN IS ALWAYS SHINING
A sad start to today. I dropped my father at the airport for his flight back to Thailand. He had been staying with us for a month and after some great times, the day finally came for him to return home.
He has been a huge influence on me, a real hero in my life and one of the most resilient people I've ever met. Lucky really - you need to be tough to survive a month in my house!
As I drove home in the pouring rain, I reflected on all the fun we'd had, the places we'd been, the people we'd visited and entertained. I began to think about all the great things coming up in the next few weeks. Even if you're not a sports nut like me, you can't fail to find something to love about the Olympics. Not only is it the showcase for phenomenal physical achievement, but it represents so much more. The coming together of people from all over the globe in the spirit of peace and harmony is a real cause for celebration. It really reminds me that we are part of one world.
And then there's the new football season about to start......fans all over the country will dream of bigger and better things for their teams this year. Yes even Watford fans like me!
As I pondered on this, the sun came on and my mood brightened. Like my state of happinness and eager anticipation for the future, the sun had been there all the time - just temporarily hidden behind the clouds.
So remember, in times of sadness, focus on what's great in your life. Think of all the things you've got to look forward to. Feel the love of those around you and share it around. Bring a little sunshine into your life today.
He has been a huge influence on me, a real hero in my life and one of the most resilient people I've ever met. Lucky really - you need to be tough to survive a month in my house!
As I drove home in the pouring rain, I reflected on all the fun we'd had, the places we'd been, the people we'd visited and entertained. I began to think about all the great things coming up in the next few weeks. Even if you're not a sports nut like me, you can't fail to find something to love about the Olympics. Not only is it the showcase for phenomenal physical achievement, but it represents so much more. The coming together of people from all over the globe in the spirit of peace and harmony is a real cause for celebration. It really reminds me that we are part of one world.
And then there's the new football season about to start......fans all over the country will dream of bigger and better things for their teams this year. Yes even Watford fans like me!
As I pondered on this, the sun came on and my mood brightened. Like my state of happinness and eager anticipation for the future, the sun had been there all the time - just temporarily hidden behind the clouds.
So remember, in times of sadness, focus on what's great in your life. Think of all the things you've got to look forward to. Feel the love of those around you and share it around. Bring a little sunshine into your life today.
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