PEACE AND CONNECTION

What does being peaceful mean to you?

During our recent trip to Provence, we stayed in a wonderful villa in the hillside. There was a beautiful infinity pool there and when you were in it you could see for miles, down over the surrounding countryside. I made of point of being first up every morning, while a little mist still hung over the olive trees to swim my lengths. Much as I love exercising, I'm not really a swimmer, but the feeling of being there, all alone, in that setting, was amazing. So utterly cut off from everything in my usual daily life.

At night, the stars were wonderful and incredibly numerous. We were quite remote so there was little in the way of light pollution, giving us a real sense of the enormity of the universe.

It made me think of the paradox of feeling so peaceful whilst being alone and yet needing the feeling of connection and being part of the "one song" of the universe we talked about in my last post. Wayne Dyer makes a similar point in his book - suggesting that the difference between ALONE and ALL ONE is L, standing for love. 

Love is what connects us all together. As you look out on the stars where you are tonight, may love and peace be with you too.

FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES

How often do we give ourselves the space and time to celebrate what has gone well for us?

Too often these days, we seem to focus on the problems around us.
What's gone wrong here? Who's fault is this? What's missing?

How often do you hear someone say, "I had a great day today because I managed to do X, Y or Z?" Why wait for others, why not be that person!

I went back to work today after a fortnight off and far from dreading it, I had a great day. I planned ahead, went to the gym before work, still getting in early enough to catch up on all the paperwork from whilst I was off.

Not only that but I enjoyed it, because I expected to enjoy it.
How much easier does something feel when you go into it with the right attitude, when you just know it's going to go well? Somehow, on days like that, things just seem to flow.

You get more of what you focus on, so if you think you're going to get problems - guess what?

For sure there'll be days when things don't quite work out, but why not relax, go with the flow and focus on the positives...... and you'll feel better whilst you're at it!

LOSE THOSE LABELS

I have just returned from a fabulous week in Provence. Really relaxing, no emails, no phone calls - wonderful.

My laptop came with me, but purely for the purpose of letting the boys watch DVDs on the Eurostar. In that beautiful, sunny, cut-off world, I took the chance to catch up on some reading.

One of the books I read was "You'll See it When You Believe it!" by Dr.Wayne Dyer. It's an excellent book, full of fascinating and thought provoking statements which make you challenge your own behaviour. Recently I've taken to jotting down interesting sentences and concepts as I read and believe me, this book really kept me scribbling.

One of the concepts I enjoyed was that of labels.
What labels do you apply to yourself ?
I guess mine would include - female, white, British, heterosexual, doctor, life coach, mother, football fan, socialist, forty-something..... How about you?

But labels can be so divisive. We are all so much more than any labels can ever convey and more importantly, labelling ourselves as one thing sets us apart from others who have a different one. Lables make us look for the differences between us, rather than looking for the sameness. As Dyer puts it, the Universe = "one song" and we are all parts of one whole.

So next time you think about giving yourself, or someone else, a label - think again.
Think not about how they differ from you but instead look for what connects you both to the greater whole.

THE END OF THE BEGINNING

A day of mixed emotions .....

My younger son had his last day at primary school today. His class have had a busy couple of weeks with their end of term show and various presentation assemblies. It seems like they've been saying goodbye for a long time. Today was the very last day and along with it the dreaded leavers' assembly. I say dreaded as for the mothers it's a real tear jerker. The kids all read out poems about their memories of school and then released cards attached to helium balloons, on which they had written their hopes and dreams for the future.

I was under strict instructions not to cry as that would be "so embarrassing" - a phrase we seem to hear more and more in our house of late. Still it makes a change from "whatever" - the favourite saying of his older brother. I was good. The hankie went unused..... but only just!

The great thing was that the kids didn't seem sad at all. In lots of ways they've adjusted to moving on far better than their parents have. They were able to look forward and laugh at all the fun times to come. When I said to him on the drive in today (with a large lump in my throat) that this was the very last time we'd make this journey together, he just said "s'ppose so; now can we have Capital on!"...

There's a lot we can learn form the kids on a day like today. They really lived in the moment - all claiming it was the best day ever. For many of us parents, as we reflected on no longer taking "our babies" to school - and the looming teenage years, it seemed like the beginning of the end.

Fortnately, those bright-eyed, bushy-tailed kids taught me, as they laughed, joked and bundled about, that it was just the end of the beginning.

NEW BROOM

Did you ever see that episode of "Only Fools and Horses" when Trigger was given a long-service award for his job as a road sweeper? He told everyone that after 20 years he was still using the same broom - he'd just had 96 different heads and 54 new handles!

When is a new broom not a new broom?

I was reminded of this today whilst reading "You'll See it When You Believe it", by Wayne Dyer. He talks of man as being "a soul within a body" and says we are "not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience."

This led me to wonder where our soul starts and stops. What part, if any of our physical body is actually the real us - aka the soul? When I was a medical student, I saw a very sad case. A lady on the ward had a rare blood disorder meaning that her blood clotted too easily and led to her having first one leg amputated, then the other. Tragically this was followed by the loss of both arms and one hind quarter also. This left her as just a head, neck and trunk in the bed, a shadow of her former self. How much of a person's body can be lost without affecting the soul, if indeed it resides in the body at all?

Dyer talks about the body as our form. His book explores how by thinking about the world in terms of our form, we are limited. In contrast, our thoughts are without limit. There are no boundaries to what you can imagine when you allow yourself to transcend the boundaries of form.

Dyer later goes on to say "thought, thinking, your essential self, never dies". Rather like Trigger's broom I suppose....

TEMPUS FUGIT

"Tempus Fugit" (Latin = time flies) was the inscription on the subdial in Doug's garden - and how true that was for me yesterday......

My Dad has lived in Thailand for the last 8 years and is currently back here for a month long stay at our house. During this, I've been able to take time off work and go with him to visit some old family friends. Many of these I haven't seen for years, but they look just the same. What gets me is how old they are now. My Dad is 66. He's like a cross between Rolf Harris, Billy Connolly and his hero Michael Palin. His friends are similar ages, or even 70. The talk was of driving licence renewal and hospital appointments.....

In my head, these people are all in their early 40's........ my age!  So how does that work then? What happened to the intervening years?

They've mostly been lucky enough to achieve lots of things and enjoy reasonable health but how those last few years have sped by.

Most of us think that good things will last forever, that we can postpone our dreams until some time in the future when the kids have left home or we've retired. "I'll do that one day". That day, if we're lucky enough to get it at all, will come around much quicker than we think.

Enjoy each day for it's own sake and don't postpone the achievement of your dreams.

Never let the word "unfulfilled" apply to you.

Get out there, grab your life by the scruff of the neck and chase that dream!

DON'T SIT DOWN IN YOUR LIFE

Right now, I'm reading two books. I always like to have two books on the go at once, usually very different ones. 

One is "Making History", by Stephen Fry. Fantastic. I love his writing. There is something fascinating about him. As I read his books I feel a connection with him that oozes out of every page. At a fantasy dinner party, he'd definitely be on my guest list, with Nelson Mandela, Tony Benn...... I digress.

The second is "The Five People You Meet in Heaven", by Mitch Albom. It explores the life of Eddie, through people he meets in heaven. They help him make sense of his life. He worries that he has wasted his days, working as a maintenance man in a theme park. He compares himself to his father, whom he thought made little of himself and uses the wonderful phrase - "He sat down in his life".

That really made me think....... how many of us are sitting down in our lives?

It's all too easy to stay in a comfortable rut, not fully satisfied with where you are but nervous to venture out of your comfort zone.

Making changes can be anxiety provoking, but the benefits can go far beyond what you ever imagined. Take your courage in hand and take the first step today towards the life you've always dreamed of.

ANTICIPATION

This morning, I drove to work alone. Instead of joining me, my younger son caught the bus to secondary school, alongside big brother, for his induction day. Normally he's a cool and calm little dude, but today he was very nervous.

Why? Anticipation......

He'd been wound up by stories of high jinx on the bus and kids getting lost in the endless school corridors.....forever. It reminded me of being a fresher at medical school. A rumour went around that the pate being served at freshers' dinner was really dog food. "What will we do?" type conversations filled the bar before the meal..... It was nonsense of course, much to everyone's relief but I well remember the completely unnecessary feeling of dread!

Of course anticipation can be a very positive thing. Looking forward to an event that you know will be enjoyable is all part of the fun. Savouring in detail what's about to happen, picturing it in your head, hearing and feeling it before it happens......great!

What I'm trying to say is, if we all spent less time worrying about what we can't change, the world would be a very much better place. Concentrate your efforts on the one thing you can change - YOU. Aim to make yourself the person you've always wanted to be........ and the rest of the world will take care of itself.

LIVING IN THE MOMENT

Sometimes it's all too easy to spend your time rushing from one thing to the next, without ever stopping to enjoy your life right now. Does this sound familiar to you?

"He who is not content with what he has now, will not be content with what he would like to have." Socrates

Don't misunderstand me. I'm a life coach, setting goals is vital, but if you can't truly appreciate what you already have- you may never be happy with what you think you want.

Start to feel grateful for your life as it is today. Really focus in on all that is precious to you, on what makes your life so special and unique. Begin to imagine how your life can get even better - in all sorts of wonderful ways.

Joe Vitale talks about this in his book The Attractor Factor.
It contains the wonderful quote:
"I am totally satisfied, I just want more! (without needing it)"
The not needing it bit is important - don't get too hung up about it.
Enjoy your life now, it's great. If it improves further - even better!

The point is this. You only live this moment once - so make the most of it.
Don't waste it fretting about past events you can't change or use all your energy in planning for tomorrow.

It's a beautiful world out there - let's make the most of now!

DON'T LET THEM GRIND YOU DOWN !

Watching the news these days can be a depressing business.
From global economic downturn to violent crime on our streets, it would be all too easy to believe that our world is a very nasty place to be. Is this really the case? Are things so much worse than they used to be, or are we just being fed a diet of bad news by the media?

Interest rates, although rising, are much lower than they were in the 70's. Our inflation rates too, although creeping up, would be the envy of many parts of the world.

So why would they have us believe that we've never had it so bad and more importantly, what effect does this have on the way that we think?

I firmly believe that you get more of what you focus on. If you surround yourself with gloom and doom, guess what you'll see more of?

When we are told that times are tough, whether we believe that or not, that's the time to focus on the positives around us. What is the best thing in your life right now? What do you have to be thankful for? Think about this, really answer these questions for yourself and as you do so, start to see, hear and feel all those wonderful things in your life.

Don't let other people tell you the world is all bad. Focus on your own life, remember what works for you and take that positivity with you whenever you step outside your door.