SYNCHRONICITIES

Have you ever thought about someone you haven't heard from in ages and then immediately afterwards got a phone call from them? Or maybe you've been thinking about going on a course when an email about the perfect one lands in your inbox? I'm sure you've had similar experiences or synchronicities. Maybe the Universe is trying to tell us something?

As regular readers will know, I have recently changed direction and am no longer working with my business partner to deliver NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) training. Instead I am concentrating on individual coaching and am absolutely loving it. It feels more authentic and real for me. I'm able to do it in my own way and tailor it to the needs of the individual doctors I coach. It's flexible, personal and enormously enjoyable. So what has this to do with synchronicity you may be wondering? Well in the last few days I've read two articles by coaches I admire, about them moving away from formal teaching NLP too. I'm thinking of Jamie Smart - now more involved with teaching the Three Principles (Mind, Consciousness and Thought). Jamie is a great coach, really generous with his time and with his content. Check out his website here. I also read a fascinating interview with Chris Morris yesterday in which he talked about making a similar move. Chris is now closing down NLPconnections which has been one of the biggest free NLP resources on the internet. I was introduced to the work of both of these coaches by Michael Neill who regular readers will know I greatly admire. These guys are big players.

I guess what I'm saying is that in some way, reading their interviews came at exactly the right time for me. It reinforced the fact that I have made exactly the right decision. Friends have been very supportive although some expressed surprise as the NLP training was in fact going very well. I have to say though that my favourite comment came from my most emotionally intelligent friend. Whilst out to dinner a couple of weeks ago she said "change is good; we all need to keep changing to keep growing." You know what - as a coach I couldn't have put it better. Think I might pinch that line for myself!

THE DRAGON - FEAR IS JUST A THOUGHT

I love this story - I heard it told by Michael Neill and I think you'll enjoy it too.

Once upon a time there was a dragon. The dragon was incredibly fierce and the people of the land were terrified of it. They spent their lives in fear and did everything they could to avoid the dragon's bite. To keep themselves safe they built themselves castles to live in.

Some people built their castles out of money. The more money they got the higher their walls became and the safer they felt. Some built their castles out of respect, feeling that the more people respected them, the higher their walls would be and the harder it would be for the dragon to get them. Others built their castles out of fame. The more famous they became, the higher their walls grew and the safer they felt. The people spent every day in fear, running around trying to get more and more money, respect, fame etc to stay safe from the dreaded bite of the dragon.

But what if you woke one day and realised that there was no dragon? There would be no need to waste your time chasing after money, fame or respect. All that fear would simply disappear and you could live your life with freedom and joy. Fears are just thoughts. Drop the thought and the fear disappears. Try it - you will be amazed how liberating it feels.

FOLLOW YOUR JOY

Well Saturday's workshop in London proved to have been well worth all the anticipation - it was absolutely wonderful. It was held in Porchester Hall in Paddington and was attended by around 350 people. I had met some of them before and as ever at this sort of event got chatting to a lot of very interesting new people. The atmosphere was warm and friendly and everyone seemed open to sharing and to exploring new ideas.

It was co-hosted by Michael Neill and Robert Holden. I knew that Michael Neill would be fantastic - he always is. I've read all but one of his books and his audio programmes have provided the backdrop to many walks with my dog Sox. Robert Holden on the other hand was relatively new to me - and he was a revelation. Rarely have I been introduced to someone's new material that has made so much sense and struck such a chord with me. He came across as such a straightforward, genuine bloke too with an absolute passion for the work that he is doing. Not only that but he loved sharing it and talking about it.

He shared so many fascinating ideas. One that I particularly liked was the distinction between being what he called HIP and DIP. HIP stands for healthily independent person whilst DIP stands for dysfunctionally independent person. Whilst in many ways it is great to be independent, allowing yourself to ask for and accept help from others is something that we all need to learn how to do and some of us find difficult. Many people are very good at giving help to others but find it hard to take. He spoke about seeing it not as taking but as receiving. I love this distinction and know I will incorporate it into my coaching as well as my own life. There were so many gems like this.

We explored many things during the workshop including the different answers that we received when we asked the same question of our head, heart and gut. Intuitively we know what to do in most situations but often we get in our own way and try too hard to think through the solution. Sometimes we just need to be with ourselves peacefully for a while and allow our inner wisdom to guide us.

Robert was kind enough to chat to me afterwards for a while. His background is in psychology and he has done a lot of work with the NHS around his Happiness Project. I was genuinely touched when he said that he thanked me from the heart for the work I was doing coaching fellow doctors. I told him I loved doing it and that I had found the day inspirational. He signed my copy of his book Success Intelligence with the inscription "Follow your joy".

Thank you Robert ; from my heart, I fully intend to.

ANTICIPATION AND INSPIRATION!

So it's Friday again already and the week seems to have gone really quickly. I'm sat, as I usually am on a Friday morning, in the lounge of my health club, sippping a latte and tapping this out on my laptop. I don't need to get to the surgery quite so early on Fridays so I stop off here on the way in. It means I can take advantage of the free wi-fi here as the ancient browser at the surgery doesn't support the Blogger site.

I'm off up to London tomorrow to a workshop run by one of my very favourite coaches - Michael Neill. those of you who follow this blog will doubtless have heard mention of him before. He is excellent and his coaching approach has really inspired and influenced the way that I coach my own clients. He's a lovely guy too, I met him back in 2009 when I attended a course he was running.

Tomorrow's workshop is co-hosted by Robert Holden, whom I haven't met or heard speak before but I've just started reading one of his books. More of that in a later blog.

Knowing that I was going to this workshop tomorrow has been great as it's given me something to look forward to all week. I'm all for that, I like to set up a constant series of things like that, that I'm really looking forward to. They can be very small things but anticipating them, just knowing that I've got them to look forward to, really adds to my week. In this way I get to enjoy them all not once but three times:
   Once - when I'm looking forward to them - really visualising how it's going to be.
   Second time - when I'm there, really enjoying it in the present.
   Thirdly, afterwards; looking back, reflecting on what I most enjoyed, what I learned,who I met etc.

I'm still in touch with three of the people I met on the 2009 course and continue to be inspired by their work too. Coaching has taught me many things and one of the most important has been to be open to new experiences. Doctors in general tend to hold quite fixed views about certain areas and perhaps aren't quite as willing and open as some groups of people to listen to new concepts, new ways of thinking. Maybe it's the scientific background, I don't know, but with this in mind I'll be telling you next week all about the book I'm currently just finishing as it certain fits into the category of challenging conventional views of life!

So have a great weekend. Enjoy all that you have and keep your eye out for inspiration - it's all around you once you start to look.

INTERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE HAPPY MIND

I don't know about you but I woke up this morning to bright sunshine streaming into the room - wonderful. There is something about a sunny day that makes everyone feel so good isn't there? OK I know it's forecast to rain later but who cares - I guess we need it anyway. Certainly in the surgery patients are noticeably happier on a sunny day.

Great as that is, why wait? Why let your happiness be determined by the weather or indeed by any external factors at all. Why not just decide to be happy?

You see I believe that happiness starts from the inside and begins with a decision; a decision to start being happy right now. Michael Neill, coach and author of several great books, once said "When you are happy, nothing changes but everything is different" and I think that is so very true.

When you are happy you smile and that alone makes you feel good. If you don't believe me then just try it. Not only will it make you feel better but it makes other people behave differently to you. They respond warmly, they smile back, they talk to you. This further reinforces those good feelings.

So yes it's Friday, yes it's the weekend, yes it's sunny - all great reasons to be happy in themselves and I know you've got many many more of your own too, but my message today is don't let what's happening out there determine how you feel inside. Take a positive decision right now to be happy, from this moment on and just see what happens. I guarantee you'll be glad you did.

Have a wonderful, fun-packed inspired weekend and I'll see you on Monday.